The human mind is capable of extraordinary mental skills including
sensory perception,
conceptualizing, language comprehension and
generation, quantitative computations,
deductive analysis, inductive
generalizations, adaptation, problem solving, scientific
and technical
knowledge, holistic synthesis, evaluation, judgment, and wisdom.
This chapter will focus on the mental skills involved in the practical
art of gentle living.
We have discussed how understanding our feelings and emotions
can tell us much about what is going on in our consciousness and
life.
Yet we also need to be careful not to let our feelings distort
rational thinking.
To understand ourselves and the world clearly
we need to see things as they are.
In using the various forms
of logic and intuition we can detect and be aware
of how feelings
and motives may affect our thought processes.
The mind is an excellent
tool for understanding concepts and various logical relationships,
but that tool can also be used to find reasons for or rationalize
conclusions
we may have jumped toward without objective and adequate
thought.
Using reason correctly helps us to organize what we learn
by perceptions and concepts into useful knowledge.
When decisions
are needed, we can apply our values in mature judgments
with the
wisdom of the divine principles.
Perhaps the most important discernment is distinguishing
what
is within our own power and what is not.
We live in an interactive
world in which each of us has power over our own thoughts,
feelings,
imagination, and actions, but we do not have power over the actions
of others.
When someone behaves badly toward us,
we can respond
by altering our own thoughts, feelings, and actions.
Although
these may influence the other person,
we cannot force the person
to conform to our wishes.
Rather, each person has the power to
choose to respond differently.
The great Stoic philosopher Epictetus,
who died before 138 CE, was a master
at making this distinction
between what is within our power and what is not.
His Manual
begins by stating that within our power are conception, effort,
desire, aversion,
and whatever are our actions;
not in our power
are the body, property, reputation, rulers, and whatever are not
our actions.
This Stoic teaching has been adopted as a basic credo
by Alcoholics Anonymous
and other groups in the form of the following
serenity prayer:
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.
This has been traced back to a prayer written by Reinhold Niebuhr
in 1932
and to the ideas of Boethius, who wrote The Consolation
of Philosophy in 524 CE.
In that book Philosophy argues that
only the good truly have power.
Because everyone wants what is
good, those who do what turns out to be bad
have been unable to
attain what they want.
Only our own choices determine our own
actions.
Although someone may take our property and injure or
kill our bodies,
they cannot harm who we really are as souls.
From the spiritual perspective we are only responsible
for the
choices that are within our power.
Since actions have consequences,
by the law of karma people are rewarded
for their good actions
and are punished by the consequences of their bad actions.
The
misfortunes that come to us may seem to have been caused by the
actions of others;
but even if you do not accept that it is karma
from your own previous actions,
how we choose to exercise our
power in the present moment determines the future results.
Thus
to be clear in our thinking we need to be consciously responsible
for those actions that are within our power while accepting what
is not within our power.
By using the wisdom to discern this difference
we can avoid becoming upset
because of what happens that is not
within our power.
Gentle living shows respect for other people
by allowing them to make their own decisions.
Attempting to have
power over others
tends to cause resentment in them and frustration
for oneself.
To be really free we need to think for ourselves; otherwise
others will control us.
People manipulate others by imposing their
beliefs, opinions, and values,
sometimes even implying they are
facts when they are not.
First let us understand what facts are.
A fact is something that has been done, an event in space and
time.
Facts only exist in the past and can no longer be changed.
Each present action becomes a fact once it has been done.
Facts
are shaped by unchangeable physical laws and mechanical principles,
but they also result from human decisions that are based on value
judgments.
What was done is a fact.
Why it was done and its significance
are interpretations
of its meaning and are opinions and beliefs.
Beliefs may or may not be accurate.
Whether the action was right
or wrong is even more of a value judgment.
Even when we analyze
the consequences of actions as to the benefits and harms they
cause,
these are still judgments that are based on how different
things are valued and compared.
Ethics is the study of these values
and judgments of right and wrong.
Discerning the factual elements from the beliefs is helpful
because the facts cannot be changed
and so can more easily be
agreed upon,
while the opinions or beliefs are decided by each
of us for ourselves.
People also may use facts selectively by
citing those that back up their opinions
while ignoring those
that call their judgments into question.
To make good judgments
we may need to do research in order to ascertain the relevant
facts.
Politicians, for example, may describe the atrocities committed
by their enemies
while failing to mention their enemies’ beneficial
actions
or the number of people who have been killed, harmed,
or imprisoned
as a result of their own policies and decisions.
By observing facts clearly we can increase our awareness of
reality
and therefore be in a better position to act wisely.
However,
a common human tendency is to let our feelings and mind influence
how we react by inserting opinions or premature conclusions about
what we have observed.
When people see or hear something that
they do not like, the conditioning in many cultures
is to turn
the observation immediately into an opinion or moral judgment.
This may even be short-circuited quickly by anger or fear into
calling the person a name,
in one’s mind if not out loud.
Thus
the mind generalizes a specific incident into assuming
or inferring
that the person is always like that.
In some cases people jump
all the way to the most extreme conclusion that the person is
evil.
I believe this is a serious error in judgment,
because no
one is always bad in every way all the time.
Rather, people may
do some things that others judge as good
and some that are judged
as bad.
The actions, ideas, feelings, and attitudes may be good
or bad
based on certain criteria or values, but the person is
still a person.
The Sufi poet Rumi wrote of a place that is beyond
right and wrong where we can meet.
By suspending our moral judgment
about others
we may observe the actual facts and so relate to
the reality of the situation.
We can use our intelligence to examine what we observe and
learn about
for what they actually are and for their results or
consequences.
By disciplining our consciousness to observe without
immediately judging
we can be more aware of the subtlety of the
situation
and avoid an immediate emotional reaction that may not
be productive or beneficial.
By clarifying our thinking in this
way we can avoid being victimized
by our own emotions and conditioned
thoughts.
We have power over our own thoughts and feelings,
and
we can control them and our responding behavior.
As we learn how
to be responsible for our own attitudes, opinions, beliefs, and
conduct
we will learn not to react without thinking out
the implications
and consequences of our actions.
Later we will see how we can
evaluate the situation
without judging the person so that we may
respond intelligently.
By analyzing the actual consequences of
what we have observed
we may see how we wish to relate to the
persons involved.
What is even worse than judging individuals is making generalizations
about large groups
based on stereotypes that have prejudged the
individuals in those groups unfairly.
Such common prejudices as
sexism and racism
may cause us to behave in ways that harm others.
Clear thinking helps us to discern how these and other biases
may affect our attitudes, beliefs, and behavior so that we may
correct them.
We were all born into a body that is male or female,
and this
is probably the biggest difference in humans except perhaps for
age.
Because women have the burden of bearing and nurturing children,
for generations in evolution and culturally men have taken advantage
of their physical strength to dominate women, resulting in the
domestic oppression
of women and children and in excessive strife
and fighting between males.
These warlike tendencies of males
are now threatening
our entire civilization and must be changed.
The oppression, domination, and exploitation of women by men
needs
to be curtailed to end this injustice.
Because these patterns
have a long biological, social, economic, and political history,
the conditioning is deeply embedded in most cultures as well as
in the instincts.
Although much progress in the liberation of
women has been made in the last two centuries,
patriarchal societies
still tend to favor men and masculine qualities.
These very imbalances
have destroyed what could be
a natural harmony of cooperation
between males and females.
To cure a society distorted by domineering and exploitative
attitudes and practices
we need more women to take stronger roles
in politics and culture
along with men who are sensitive to the
feminine side.
We must stop giving over our power to aggressive
males,
and we must not allow them to push us around anymore.
We
need individuals and groups that are balanced and healthy wholes;
we do not necessarily need women who have become over-masculinized
and aggressive nor men who have become too weak and passive.
Peace
and harmony result from equality and justice.
Women may assert
their right to participate and let their feelings be known,
and
men may learn to become sensitive to women and their own feelings
and intuitions.
We need more cooperation and less competition.
We need less “leadership” from the top and more group
sharing in community.
As individuals we can examine our daily lives for the vestiges
of sexism
and work to develop our wholeness.
Similarly in groups
we can point out to each other how society has been prejudiced
against women and work to change our own group attitudes and practices
so that feminism has its proper place.
Because the old patterns
are so ingrained and strong, we must make extra effort
to attempt
to balance the equation in favor of the side that has been so
long oppressed.
The future is hopeful because women are now a
majority
not only in society and in the universities as well.
Is it not time to begin to feed and nurture the world
and stop
trying to arm and dominate it by aggressive force?
Can we break
the logical chains of rationality that have led us
to the development
of thermonuclear weapons and catastrophic wars?
Can we respect
the Earth and the beauty of nature instead of plundering and robbing?
Can we use art and music to teach and appreciate human values?
Can we restrain the abuse of science and technology
that is attempting
to dominate the world?
Can we learn to share with each other instead
of grabbing greedily to possess?
Can we supply the world with
an abundance of teachers, doctors, and nurses
instead of armies,
navies, and air forces?
We need more women doctors and more male
nurses.
Can we listen to each other with our hearts instead of
making speeches with our egos?
The answer to all these questions
is yes.
In fact, if we do not change our patterns, our very survival
is in danger.
When we surrender to love of all and follow our
hearts,
then we will be on the path of healing and happiness.
Although the major work to overcome sexism needs to be done
by men improving their ways,
women have their role in taking their
proper place and also in avoiding
becoming sexist because of their
feminine advantages.
Equal treatment regardless of one’s sex is
the most practical ideal to follow.
This goal need not be affected
by those who have changed their sex
or by those who may present
themselves as the other sex.
Sexual orientation is another issue
that can cause prejudiced behavior
especially among people who
follow traditional morals.
Although most people are naturally
heterosexual, recent evidence indicates
that some people are genetically
influenced to experience homosexual desires.
Whether this trait
is hereditary or not,
people have the right to choose their own
intimate partners.
Thus homophobia, or fear of homosexuals, is
a prejudice that is harmful to social equality.
Because we need
to control human population,
there is no reason to discriminate
against those who fail to procreate.
Age is another issue that can cause unjust discrimination.
Because of their lack of maturity we need to treat young children
differently than others.
However, the aged, who have not become
incompetent, deserve equal opportunities.
Because of their experience,
older people are usually more responsible than young adults.
Recent
progress has been made in respecting the rights of those
who have
been physically disabled.
We need to realize that what may be
somewhat inconvenient for us
may be very difficult for them.
We
need to respect every person regardless of their condition,
and
that includes their financial assets.
Some have also complained
about the tendency to favor
those who are good-looking in what
is called “lookism.”
Modern media and efforts to achieve
commercial success have caused many in business
and other fields
to promote above others those
who are perceived as beautiful,
pretty, or handsome.
Although individuals are free to choose their
friends and spouses as they wish,
such prejudices may not be fair
in regard to employment
where the job skills and performance should
be the major criteria.
Another social phenomenon that has increased
in the world of modern media
is how celebrities receive special
treatment and immense advantages simply because
they are already
well known by the public,
even in some cases when it is for disreputable
behavior.
By being aware of these issues and possible biases we
may make corrections
and adjustments in our consciousness so that
we are fair and respectful to all.
Racism is a major prejudice that discriminates unfairly
based
merely on being a member of an ethnic group.
Although physical
differences give people an easy means of discrimination,
prejudices
usually develop for cultural reasons.
Different languages and
traditions often make communication and understanding difficult.
Thus for example, Chinese and Japanese may discriminate
against
each other’s minority populations.
Africans in the Americas have
suffered the worst treatment
because of how they were oppressed
as slaves collectively.
Native American “Indians” also
were badly treated because of cultural differences.
In both these
latter cases dominating Europeans often felt insecure and afraid
that these people would break out of their oppressed circumstances
and fight back
or take away the advantages the white settlers
had exploited for themselves.
Thus racism became wrapped up in
economic and social exploitation of a poor class
which was easily
identifiable so that they could be “kept in their place.”
Unfortunately these patterns are still with us, and often “white” people unconsciously
consider “colored” peoples as inferior,
making it seem permissible to treat them badly,
especially those
in or from “foreign" countries.
Although those of European
ancestry are in a majority in the industrialized western nations,
globally they are a minority.
Thus subconsciously these nations
are afraid of losing control and dominance,
as happened in some
African countries where the Europeans are a small minority.
Since
the poor tend to have higher birth rates, there is also the fear
that the
black, brown, and yellow “hordes” will overrun
the whites,
even in the United States where these minorities are
increasing.
Maybe people of color historically have larger populations
because culturally they are not as aggressive and warlike.
Perhaps the worst part of racism is how it dehumanizes the
racists’
own sensitivities toward other human beings.
Ironically
those who consider others inferior are the ones
who have morally
and spiritually degraded themselves by their arrogance.
They have
closed their hearts and minds to souls who are equal to themselves
by treating them as objects instead of as spiritual beings.
They
are violating the fundamental spiritual principle of loving others
as ourselves,
and not just individually but en masse.
We all have
the right to choose our friends by affinities,
to hire workers
by their skill and experience,
but to prejudge an entire group
of people arbitrarily by skin color or cultural heritage
is to
limit oneself and commit wholesale injustice.
Foreign policy is often influenced by these racist prejudices
in combination with nationalism and imperialism.
United States
citizens were upset that about 58,000 Americans died in Vietnam,
but how many people were concerned that Americans killed
at least
one million Vietnamese people and many others in Southeast Asia?
Hundreds of thousands may be dying in Africa
and tens of thousands
in Asia and Latin America
while people pay little attention; but
if a dozen Europeans or North Americans are killed,
it is treated
as more important.
The United States was a great “melting
pot” for Europeans,
but now that those who want to come are
Latin Americans or Asians,
severe restrictions keep most of them
out.
Black slaves were welcomed, but how many free Africans are
allowed?
I personally delight in meeting people of other races and cultures
because I find it very interesting to know diverse people.
How
boring it is when everyone in the group is so much the same!
As
we develop our global culture and the new civilization of world
unity,
the intermingling of cultural and racial backgrounds will
increase.
Intermarriage will become more common, and in the future
I prophesy that
there will be on Earth a golden race with a great
variety of hues and characteristics,
all of which will be appreciated
for their own beauty.
Dogma is the Greek word for opinion or decree.
Surely we believe
that everyone has the right to their own opinions,
and even this
idea itself is a belief.
What happens when people try to force
their belief system on someone else?
Of course no one can make
people believe something against their will,
because belief involves
a use of the will.
Yet groups often will attempt to manipulate
people’s beliefs by rewarding and punishing
certain attitudes
and behaviors.
Strong psychological programming can produce individuals
and groups
who may stubbornly adhere to the dogmas instilled in
them.
The number of people who think things out for themselves
even on major issues is still rather small.
The United States of America was founded on and is supposed
to encourage freedom of belief and expression of those beliefs.
Yet religious beliefs can prove as resistant to reason and change
as the nationalistic ideologies promoted by governments.
The Soviet
Union was more controlled in its expression of ideas
until Mikhail Gorbachev opened it up with glasnost.
For example, in the USSR it
was illegal to advocate war and other anti-social behavior.
In
the United States we are permitted to advocate anything
except
the violent overthrow of the government.
I believe in as much
freedom of ideas as possible so that people
can learn from the
free exchange, because I trust that if all ideas are allowed,
people
will eventually choose the best.
We need not be ruled by fear
of bad ideas,
because we can show their deficiencies and replace
them with better concepts.
The problems occur when people act upon their dogmas
without
intelligently thinking out their consequences.
People tend to
act based on their belief systems.
If this results, either intentionally
or unintentionally, in injustice,
then the conflict must be resolved.
People who are psychologically insecure will tend to cling to
their beliefs
and not want to question them.
Thus the combination
of religious fundamentalism and nationalistic patriotism,
which
are often thoroughly instilled in people through the family, church,
schools,
and the media led to a blindness that supported US policies
and hated anything vaguely referred to as Communist.
In the United
States and much of Latin America this fear of Communism was so
extreme
and irrational that as a collective neurosis it resulted
in
very unhealthy attitudes and governmental policies.
Anti-Communism
tended to be irrational because of dogma based on false propaganda
and immense distortion of what Communism is
and what the real
intentions of Communist governments were.
This red-baiting was
used by politicians to manipulate voters,
discredit reformers,
and justify immoral policies.
Since the end of the cold war, the fear of terrorism has been
used as the new bogeyman.
Although western concern about petroleum
supplies causes much of the conflict
in the Middle East, the clash
of civilizations that pits Judeo-Christian culture
against Muslims
has used religious belief to motivate people
to support various
wars on both sides.
Belief in democracy as the best political
system has also been used
to gain support for dominating people
in other countries.
Yet ironically it is obviously contradictory
to try to force people
in another country to be free or democratic.
How can self-determination be imposed by others?
We all believe in something.
All our conscious actions come
from some motivation and objective
we believe is possible to attain.
We need to evaluate our own beliefs to see if
the values implicit
in them are really best for all.
Also if we have faith that our
beliefs are good, then we do not need to try to force them
on
people by military power, and we can allow a free process of discussion
in which everyone has the right to participate.
Ego is the Greek word for I.
Every personality has an
ego and could not exist without one.
Egotism, however, is the
inflation of this personal self beyond its proper function.
Thus
sometimes we need to practice “ego-puncture” to deflate
our own sense
of personal importance when it gets in the way of
other people’s interests and expressions.
Although part of our liberation is personal empowerment,
it
needs to be blended with group empowerment and global thinking.
The process of being true to our self and manifesting our integrity
is subtly different
from aggrandizing our personality and certainly
is not dominating others.
This respect for the true self within
us must include the self within others
or else we find ourselves
in the double standard of egotism,
which implies that I am more
important, better, or worth more than you.
As peace activist Brian
Willson said of the people in Central America,
“We are not
worth more; they are not worth less.”
By respecting equality
of persons we are not only empowering others
but in a spiritual
way are empowering our own true self.
Egotism is especially noticeable in small groups because the
dominant personality
tends to restrain the opportunities of others.
The group where individuals are able to see beyond their own personal
considerations
in order to harmonize these with others’ interests
will be an empowered group
that will flow and change and operate
as an organic whole
rather than be pulled and pushed in different
directions haphazardly.
Egos of different sizes and temperaments can be problematic.
We tend to think of the big ego as always being inflictive,
yet
it can also be supportive and capable of taking on large responsibilities
if others choose to allow this.
The person with a large ego can
strengthen the group
but must be very careful not to dominate
and take over.
The smaller ego also may be supportive and capable
of accomplishing much
f others are supportive of that person.
However, the small ego that is insecure can pull energy from others
by acting helpless
and always seeking emotional approval.
Others
can help this type of person become weaned from dependency
by
letting the person gain maturity through experience.
People in
the group also need to keep those with aggressive egos
from dominating
the process and point out the need for restraint when appropriate.
As our groups become successful, we need to be careful of group
egotism
in relation to other groups and the public.
Self-esteem
is not the same as conceit, which comes out of self-deception.
If groups are unable to cooperate with other groups working for
similar goals,
then the coalition building needed to develop a
large movement becomes problematic.
Similarly, if we act toward
our adversary as though we are morally superior beings,
then our
self-righteousness is likely to bring a negative reaction.
We
can believe in ourselves and our cause,
yet we must also believe
in the true selves of all other individuals,
realizing that they
too understand some truths.
If we listen to them as equals, they
are likely to reciprocate;
then both of us may learn from each
other.
By understanding others’ viewpoints
we learn how to communicate
more effectively with them.
The subtleties of egotism will always be with us, because we
are attempting to harmonize
our personal interests and responsibilities
with those of other individuals and groups.
If we do not look
out for our own interests, then who will?
As long as we have a
body, we must take care of it and keep it functioning.
No one
is likely to know our hurts and wishes if we do not tell anyone.
At the same time we need to observe and listen to others
so that
we can best relate with their situations.
So from the immense world problems we face, as we begin to
work on solving them,
we find that peace must begin within ourselves.
If we are to become effective peacemakers and really change the
world,
we have to work on ourselves first while we are in
the process
of developing group efforts for social change.
To
ignore our personal development for the sake of the world is to
reduce our personal
effectiveness in working for change; and to
ignore the world to concentrate on
our own spiritual growth is
to limit that to a selfish and narcissistic process.
Thus we must
work simultaneously on transforming ourselves and our society;
and as we shall see, each process helps the other.
Our decisions that lead to action are based on evaluations
of possible actions
and value judgments about objectives and goals.
After we have discerned the facts and what is within our power
to do,
we may apply the divine principles and other values in
making those evaluations
and judgments of what we think it is
best for us to do.
A common error is to judge people rather than
merely evaluating their actions.
If we judge a person as evil
or a thief, for example,
then we are committing the error of over
generalization,
because that person may not steal in all situations.
Rather it is better to be specific in our evaluations when we
realize that
a person may have deceived or stolen in a particular
situation.
This perspective recognizes that people are free and
can change.
Thus by respecting every person as a spiritual being
with good qualities
who may also have committed some faults,
we
are allowing a more open process while still being aware of the
dangers.
No matter how many facts we gather, we need more than information
alone
to decide what actions we are to take in our personal lives.
Decisions are always based on values and beliefs, whether they
are explicit or implicit.
Facts and observations help us to estimate
the likely consequences of our actions
so that we can make wiser
decisions based on our own personal values
of what we think are
the best results.
In this book I am suggesting that we will all
be better off,
both individually as well as collectively, if we
consider what is best for everyone.
If we consider only our personal
advantage, this may cause others to suffer disadvantages.
Eventually
they are likely to come back on us too
as other people act in
similar ways toward us.
When we consider what is best for others,
they will be encouraged to return the favor.
If others try to
take advantage of our altruistic approach,
we may take that into
consideration too.
We may then choose to associate with people
who are more likely
to work for the good of everyone.
If more
people do this, gradually the selfish people will become more
isolated
and may eventually see the value of mutual cooperation.
By thinking clearly about these things, by acting on our principles,
and then by communicating with others,
people will become more
aware of these various consequences.
What is the alternative?
If most people continue to believe
that the world works better if everyone acts
only for their own
selfish interests, the resulting conflicts in a world of increasing
population
and diminishing resources are likely to be so violent
that the human species may even destroy itself.
This is a real
possibility, and many of the world’s greatest thinkers
have warned
us about this danger.
If the delicate balances and conditions
on this Earth that allow human life are altered
such that humans
can no longer survive here, we have no other planet where we can
go.
Although some believe that human nature cannot be changed,
I believe that humans are free
to adapt and that we must do so
in order to survive
the increasingly serious megacrisis we face.
We need to evaluate not only the consequences of our personal
actions
and how they affect others and the future of civilization
but also the social and political policies we are supporting or
allowing
that may be headed for immense catastrophes if we do
not change them.
Some of these issues will be discussed in the
last chapter.
We need to consider not just the immediate consequences
of our actions
but also the long-term effects if such policies
continue or possibly even get worse.
These difficult circumstances
that we all face as a species are forcing us to become
philosophers
and seek the wisdom that is needed to plan intelligently what
will be best for all.
Can we afford to continue to be selfish
and let others
who are greedy cause irrevocable harm with violent
and irresponsible policies?
One of the best skills for helping us to evaluate consequences
is to use our creative imagination.
Albert Einstein did “thought
experiments,” and Mohandas Gandhi believed in
testing the
truth by experimenting with nonviolent actions.
In our own meditation
and contemplation we can think out what are the different possibilities
of what could occur based on what is happening and if various
changes are made.
We need to move beyond the denial, for example,
that refuses to imagine what would happen
if the nuclear weapons
many nations currently possess are used in a major war.
What if
biological weapons are used, and an epidemic gets out of control?
What if genetic engineering experiments go awry and alter the
balance of nature?
Advances in human technology are very exciting,
both in terms of
the positive things they may accomplish and because
of the possible disasters.
We are living in a very dangerous time
in which humanity is facing a crisis of survival.
The possible
nightmare scenarios warn us to be especially careful about certain
things.
Then we can use our creative imaginations to think about
possible solutions
that can prevent these dangers from getting
worse and ways of removing them.
For example, would not humanity
be better off
if there were no nuclear weapons in the world?
If
so, then we need to think of how humanity can organize itself
in such a way
that nuclear weapons are no longer allowed to exist.
Yet we want to protect our freedom and rights
from any government
that might have such control.
Thus we need to think very carefully
about each step of the process
that can lead to the goals we all
want.
Creative imagination is also very helpful in planning the future
of our personal lives.
By prayer, meditation, and contemplation
we can consider various actions
and the consequences that might
occur.
We may not be able to think out the likely results of every
possibility, yet the more
we can consider the more intelligent
is likely to be our planning for various contingencies.
We have
already discussed the adverse consequences of such things as
smoking,
using drugs, and eating meat.
We can use our creativity to imagine
various ways that we can get physical exercise
in order to keep
our bodies in good shape.
We may be more open for opportunities
that give us exercise in our daily lives
such as walking when
possible or doing some physical work for ourselves.
The major
projects and goals of our lives can benefit the most from using
creative imagination.
We can visualize various steps and alternatives
to see where they may take us.
We can think out our plans so that
we can be prepared for emergencies and challenges.
As we examine our lives and past experiences, we can creatively
imagine
how we might handle a similar situation in the future
in better ways.
We can do this not only with our own experiences
but also with incidents
we observe in real life or in dramas and
books.
As we develop our creative ideas, we may even be able to
express them ourselves
in books or artistically to help others
imagine a better future.
Clear thinking is also useful in discerning our motives and
in developing our own priorities.
These range from our most vital
needs to optional desires and spiritual aspirations.
I believe
that our lives are freer and more fulfilling personally as well
as spiritually
if we consciously make our own decisions based
on our own values.
Some people seem to believe that there are
many things they have to do;
but ultimately we find the only thing
we all have to do is die.
Everything else is a choice.
Let us begin with what are usually considered needs
because
they are essential to maintaining our physical lives.
Pain is
the experience that stimulates the most immediate response
in
order to maintain our well being.
The basic physical necessities
such as air, water, food, protection, clothing, shelter,
and health we may call the security needs.
The motive for these is survival,
which is universal
and only rarely overcome or neglected in extreme
circumstances.
Yet how well and pleasantly these security needs
are provided along with other comforts
gradually moves us into
the second area of desires
that may be grouped under pleasure
or enjoyment.
The quality of housing, clothing, food, and other
physical activities people enjoy
are usually contingent on the
financial resources available.
Thus the major motive for developing
these is usually related to the acquiring of wealth.
Success in
this also affects the third level of motivation
which is the desire
for power and influence.
The main way to improve these is by developing
various skills and abilities.
These three levels of motivation
were called deficiency motivations
by the psychologist Abraham
Maslow because they are each based on
lacking something that is
needed or desired.
Clear thinking discerns the difference between
what we physically need and what we desire.
These clarifications
can help us to discipline ourselves
so that we do not overindulge
our desires.
The choices involved in setting the priorities can
help us to attain fulfillment
of higher levels of motivation than
personal desires and power.
Beyond the three levels of survival, pleasure, and power
are
the self-actualizing or spiritual motivations.
Although these
motives are not based on physical needs,
they can influence how
one goes about fulfilling those needs and desires
so that the
desires may be disciplined, purified, and sublimated.
Higher motivations
are love, creativity, awareness, and oneness.
Love in the sense
of compassion is the most important for the art of gentle living.
This love comes from the heart and cares about other people and
living creatures.
The compassionate person, even when acting to
fulfill one’s physical needs,
is concerned that the effect of
one’s actions on others be considerate and gentle.
The compassionate
make this spiritual love the highest priority and find that
it
does not conflict with the nurturing and support of life.
Yet
many personal pleasures, desires, and ambitions may be subordinated
to the higher priority of doing what is best for all.
The expression of creativity is another spiritual motive that
moves artists and others to make this a priority.
Humans are the
most creative species on Earth,
and individuals and groups express
their creativity in many different ways.
One may make one’s life
a work of art with beautiful accomplishments
to be appreciated
and remembered by many.
Raising children well is also a way of
expressing oneself and helping to shape new life.
Artists, musicians,
writers, inventors, and many other professionals and amateurs
may make their personal expressions a high priority in their lives
and so create value.
The sixth level of motivation is awareness and is the
pursuit
of knowledge, understanding, insight, and wisdom.
The sharing
of this awareness is a priority for
teachers, counselors, writers,
and students of life.
Those who love to learn are constantly expanding
their comprehension
and developing their intellectual capacity
throughout their lives,
as it does not depend on physical strength.
The seventh and highest motive is spiritual oneness and transcendence,
the priority chosen by mystics who seek to experience
God, Spirit,
and the oneness of humanity.
This ultimate motivation may be a
good preparation for death
as one becomes detached from physical
things and earthly values.
In examining and improving our lives we can analyze our motivations
to see what goals and objectives we are pursuing.
As whole persons
we experience all these levels of motivation to some degree.
Success
on any of the higher levels of motivation tends to enhance development
of the others and the experiencing of happiness.
By lifting our
motives above the three deficiency levels and especially by
focusing
on compassionate love we may make
our actions more beneficial
and psychologically satisfying.
To survive everyone needs to make
physical security a priority.
Yet most people extend this drive
far beyond the necessities
into increasing comforts and luxuries.
Others seem to think they are accomplishing much if they are able
to gain power
over other people, though they may discover that
this striving often leads to conflict, agony, and defeat.
Those
who are able to restrain their lower desires in order to pursue
higher motivations
may explore deeper relationships through love,
find more sublime fulfillment through
creative expression, learn
greater wisdom and understanding through awareness,
and experience
spiritual liberation and transcendence.
Many people may find that
the art of gentle living means lifting consciousness
above the
physical instincts to the more intangible spiritual experiences.
This chapter has been published in the book The Art of Gentle Living.
For information on ordering, please click here.